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5 Jobs I Would Hate

competitive hot dog eater

Joey “Jaws” Chestnut after winning the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Challenge

This week we talked about the pros and cons of teaching. I don’t think I’d be a good teacher, but there probably could be a subject or group of students I’d connect with. I think I’m pretty good as an optometrist, and I am versatile enough to do a range of careers if the motivation was there, but here are 5 jobs I would hate. I’d rather work at 7/11 or drive a garbage truck than do one of these.

Ebola Czar

Ebola Czar would be a terrible job. For one, who thinks the government does a great job at anything health care related? I think they make people in charge of something so they will have someone to fire when things go wrong. Look what happened to Kathleen Sebelius, the lady who was in charge of healthcare.gov.

Two, Ebolaczar sounds like an evil biblical character. Maybe he’s Goliath’s first cousin on his way to smite the Philistines. Regardless, it isn’t a title I’d want to have.

Animal Control Officer

I love animals, and you’d think I’d jump at the chance to work around them all day, but I happen to know our area animal control officer. Almost every time I see her, she smells like a skunk. Yep, she is the one people call when there is a skunk/porcupine/mountain lion/rat, etc in their back yard. If it were all puppies and kitties, it might be fun, but I know better.


We live in a hugely popular area for hunting. I am not a fan, but I do see the need. If there are too many elk and deer, they starve. Most hunters do use the meat for their families, so I can’t fault them. I could not, however, be the one who stuffed Bambi to hang on the wall,even though I know a good taxidermist can make lots of money. Dead animals are really creepy to me, and I am so thankful I did not marry a hunter!

Bank Teller

As much as I love to have money, I do not like to touch it. Money is disgusting. If you don’t believe me, have a yard sale, count your earnings three times, then look at and smell your hands. When I see people in the movies roll around in money, I want to go take a shower.

Also, I’d be terrible about giving someone an extra ten dollar bill by accident or shorting them that much. I’ve known lots of bank tellers, and there is huge pressure to have a perfect drawer at the end of the day. I think I would get fired pretty quickly.

Competitive Eater

I know you can make big money by winning eating contests, and surprisingly, the reigning champions are usually all very skinny. It might sound great to know you could eat all the food you wanted and be compensated for it, but would you really want to eat 68 hot dogs in 10 minutes? I can’t imagine what that must feel like 3 hours later.

Jobs I Love

The jobs I am loving right now are being a study participant and blogger. I made $300 for a little over an hour of my time by doing a webinar and  answering questions about how I treat dry eye disease.Those gigs don’t come up often, but they are sweet when they do.

I was also featured on Rockstar Finance not once, but twice, over the past couple of months for my posts about bargains not being bargains and on how many years of retirement things cost. That second one also got picked up by Lifehacker, which was an awesome traffic day.

I’d like to thank J$ for that, plus for giving me the OK to take the money I find in the dryer (from Jim’s pockets because I never have cash) and adding it to challenge savings.

What jobs would you hate to have? How much would you take to talk about dry eyes for an hour?


Image: Wikipedia.org

About Kim Parr

Kim Parr is a private practice optometrist, freelance writer, and personal financial blogger. You can follow her journey to 20/20 financial vision at Eyes on the Dollar.


  1. It’s always nice to find your position in life 🙂 Been enjoying your blog since it came on the scene so I’m glad you’re keeping going with it!

  2. Ha! Ebola Czar does sound like an evil biblical character! And I would hate that as well. For me, I always thought it would be awful to be a garbage man. Sometimes, when I am near a truck and have my windows rolled down, I can barely stand the stench. I can’t imagine what it’s like on the back of the truck in the heat of summer. Ugh. Garbage men, I salute you!

    • I am so thankful for our garbage men. I love putting our full trash can out at the end of the driveway and coming home to an empty one. That being said, I would hate to have to deal with other people’s garbage.

  3. My former roommate had the worst job I have ever heard of. He had the revolting task of plugging the butts of cattle before they went to the slaughter-house. I probably don’t have to explain that it was a terrifying time for these cows and nature took over so his job was necessary to reduce the mess.
    Other than making me want to become a vegetarian hearing this really gave me that wake-up call I needed about the difference education can make in life, at the time I had finished high school and wasn’t sure if University was for me. He was mainly confined to manual labour as he had no trade or degree. I still shudder thinking about it!

  4. Animal control would be awful just because I’d hate to pick up a stray sad kitty or dog. But yes scraping a skunk off the side of a road would be pretty awful too. I think the worst would have to be cleaning a port-o-john. Is that how you spell it? anyway, just god awful!

    • In the same vein, our neighbors had to have their septic tank pumped the other day and a guy in this big old truck pulled up and went at it. The smell was almost unbearable and I wasn’t even that close. The company did have a sense of humor. They are called Le Pew Septic Service!

  5. Good God, being a taxidermist would gross the hell out of me! I think what I do to earn income is a pretty sweet deal so I’ll stick with with what’s working for me.

    • I’m convinced all the ghosts of animals past would come back to haunt me if I stuffed them after some hunter shot them.

  6. Yeah, those jobs don’t sound too appealing. I almost volunteered as an animal control worker for the Humane Society but decided it would be too rough for me.

    • I’m thinking animal control only shows up if there is a problem, so even if it was dogs or cats, I’m not sure I could deal with an abuse or hoarding situation.

  7. It wouldn’t take much to get me to talk about dry eyes for a while. I don’t have a problem with dry eyes or any specific information on the topic, so I don’t know who would pay to hear me, but that’s another issue.

  8. I actually would also hate all these jobs! As far as what other jobs I would hate, I’m pretty sure any job that has to deal with customers constantly, especially if it was over the phone (hate talking on the phone!). That covers a LOT of jobs, though, so I guess I just ruled out a whole bunch.

  9. I don’t know who would want to be an Ebola czar. It seems like nobody knows what they are doing with that issue. Also remember once you start doing a job, you can train yourself to do it better with practice. Like counting Benjamin’s all day. Congrats on the lifehacker plug.

  10. I’m with you on all these jobs! I’ve gone to watch the hot dog eating contest at Coney Island twice. And while Joey Chestnut is mighty impressive, it looks super gross. Plus, I don’t like hot dogs. Maybe competitive pickle eating. That sounds do-able.

    I’d also add butcher to taxidermist. I love eating the meat, but slaughtering is probably something I could only do in a survivor situation.

    • One of my favorite movies of all time is Slingblade with Billy Bob Thorton. There is one scene where he is talking about potted meat being made of lips and peckers, and I’ve had a hard time eating hot dogs since.

  11. I had to laugh when I first heard the term Ebola Czar on the radio. I think it’s more for PR as people tend to feel secure of there is one person in charge of something. Ditto on competitive eating as I have heard some interviews of Joey Chestnut and he says he pretty much feels like crap for days after his eating binges.

    I would LOVE to talk about dry eye for $300!

  12. Whatever you find in the dryer is yours to do with as you please: it’s one of the unwritten rules of doing the washing. 🙂

  13. When I was a bartender, many moons ago, I ran across a casket re-possessor. He was an american working in Brazil or somewhere near there. His friends were giving him grief about the job, so I asked him.

    They take back caskets that were not paid for, or payments not made. They sell the body to a university or other scientific place. I think he said they could not reuse the casket, but I cannot remember now.

    • I love a good bargain, but I might have to draw the line at second hand caskets, although I guess I’d never know the difference!

  14. I was a bank teller for many years but never thought about the germ aspect until I had kids and got more germ conscious. 🙂 I think I could be a competitive eater, but only if the competition involved chocolate or banana cream pie or something, LOL.

  15. I’m with you on those jobs, especially the taxidermist. I’m a vegetarian so I just couldn’t hack that one! You could also add (along the lines of bank teller) middle school dance concessions. I wonder why their money gets so damp as the dance progresses?! Lol! Yep! That was me a few weeks ago. I do it for my kid and then decontaminate afterwards;0)

  16. I’m with you on the nastiness of actual cash! I worked in the cash office at Six Flags amusement park one summer during college and it was gross. I had to count sweaty, dirty, sticky amusement park money for 8 hours a day in a basement. The upside is that it was air-conditioned and my co-wokers were nice. Everything else was a downside 🙂

    • I actually would not mind if cash went completely away. I almost never carry it and would prefer to pay for everything with a credit card.

  17. I could never be a taxidermist, either. The animal control officers at the shelter I worked at didn’t mostly handled dogs and cats. It is an extremely tough job, though. Besides picking up strays, they had to deal with DOA’s, as well as squirrels, raccoons, and birds. There were times a few of them were attacked by vicious dogs roaming loose. I love animals, too, but I couldn’t go through half of what they did.

  18. Animal caretaker at zoos, not that I really hate this so much, but I just don’t want to find myself be in this job. There’s really a great health risk. Imagine you do this everyday. I hope these people in this job are paid much or enough.

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