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Five Things You (Didn’t) Learn in College

College is a time for experimentation, a time where young people venture away from their parents and in the great yonder— an expansive space where activity in misapplied idealism is as commonplace as expose-like sexual experimentation.   If all of life were like college the world would be a pantomime of efficiency, a farce to discipline and fetal alcohol syndrome would be as common in the U.S as AIDS is in Swaziland. It is thusly a miss-remembrance to state that college is the best point of one’s life, like stating that Meet the Falkers is the high point of DeNiro’s career.  In fact, the best things learned throughout life aren’t learned during the go-go college years: they are learned in the years that come after.  What follows are five things you didn’t learn in college, but know now. 1)      All money is not beer money. As a college student, if you didn’t put 60% or more of your money towards drinking related endeavors (including the obligatory and regrettable late night food binges) you either a) where studying or working, and thus the white buffalo of your dorm, b) not getting laid, c) spending money on marijuana or other substances (acceptable alternative).  ...

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