Now that summer is here, the shorts are out of the closet, sandals are back on the shoe rack, and my fleece coat is taking a break for a couple of months. While this season does mean I’ll have to shave me legs more than once a month and keep toenails painted, there are some things I just can’t believe women and some men do to look good.
In most cases, I’ve accepted the fact that as a woman, there are certain things I have to do to look professional and feel like I fit in with society. I realize I could be a crazy granola hippie, but I choose not to be. I’m pretty basic for a girl. I’ve never even plucked my eyebrows, but I have resigned myself to the fact that I need to wear some makeup, style my hair, and put on something other than flip flops or athletic shoes to go to work. However, there are some things I will never, ever do for the price of beauty.
Bake in the Tanning Bed-I have to admit, I used to tan. This was in high school and college. I was taught that you look pretty with a tan, and beginning every spring, I got on the bandwagon. Forget wrinkles or suspicious moles. I can’t believe I did that and am super paranoid now about skin cancer. I am the first one to lather up with the SPF before going outside, especially since I live a mile closer to the sun that when I grew up. I am amazed that tanning salons still exist. Even in our little town with nothing much more than a Wal Mart, there are at least three places I can think of that have a tanning bed. Wake up people. I’ve seen older women who have tanned their whole lives. Think rawhide. Not pretty.
Have Botox in Your Mid 30’s– I am opposed to most cosmetic procedures, but I guess some might argue that Botox is no worse than coloring your hair, and maybe it’s not. However, my sister is licensed to give Botox injections, and a good portion of her patient base is around 35 years old. You do not need Botox in your 30’s unless maybe you work in an industry where your livelihood is based on looks. Paying someone big bucks to shoot botulism toxin into my forehead seems like insanity to me. I’ll just have to be wrinkly.
Permanent Eyeliner– Maybe I’m a little biased. When you look at eye makeup under a microscope all day, it colors you view. When I see tatooed ink along someone’s eyelid margin, it almost makes me gag. What did your poor eyelid ever do to you? Do I really want to wake up with bed head, pajamas, and perfect makeup? I’ve seen this procedure become infected and have heard of people having it done in a back room on the cheap. Could I please have a dose of Hepatitis C or HIV with that tatoo? Think twice before you let someone stick a needle into your skin, especially near your eye.
Diet Pills– Did you know that Americans spend about $18 billion dollars on appetite suppressants annually? Get rich or get thin quick schemes are everywhere. The same rule applies to both. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. There is no pill that burns off the pounds while you sleep after eating a whole pizza and bag of Cheetos for dinner. Just like getting out of debt requires you to spend less than you earn, losing weight requires that you consume less than you burn. It takes work and permanent lifestyle changes to lose weight. Any Kardashian that tells you different is lying.
We all want to look good, but paying money and risking your health for supposed beauty is not a good move. If only the world favored middle aged women with a few gray hairs, wrinkles, and love handles, it would be lots easier to accept ourselves and never have a need for quick fixes. Since it doesn’t, please take care of yourselves and don’t worry about getting crow’s feet or not having a great tan. The price of beauty is not worth it.
What crazy things have you or someone you know done for the price of beauty?